


Spent my whole life looking

by cuneifire (orphan_account)



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-07-21 04:10:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19995643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/cuneifire
Summary: It takes Switzerland seventy-five years to realize it’s not money he’s looking for.





	Spent my whole life looking

After twenty years of being rich enough to buy out half the world, Switzerland realizes he’s not happy.

It hits him at three in the morning, when he’s up filing through paperwork and the cars outside his house in Zurich, exhaust filing up through the window like an old record on repeat. The screen’s burning through his retinas, his fingers like rusted nails barely attached to his hands. His back is stinging.

He’s filing for- same as always- money. Banking, trading deals, defense. Same as he’s done since that war ended over seventy-five years ago, carefully staying out of trouble. The rest of the world could go to hell in a handbasket, but no him. Not his people. No.

Switzerland was neutral to everything in the world but his own well being.

That’s what he told himself as he shoved through the reports. He only had ten more, after all. He could finish them by- seven, maybe, then rush into work and maybe catch a coffee alongside the train. The day wouldn’t be too hard, he’s sure.

He’s been running like this for the last week. A few of his officials have told him he looks unwell. He glares down their concerns, and they don’t ask again.

But by now the world is spinning in front of his very eyes and he can’t keep his eyes on the screen without wanting to simply stop functioning.

He should stop.

That’s what he tells himself as his laptop crashes against the wall as he pushes to his feet and walks over to stand by the window.

He should stop, he thinks, breathes in the half poisonous air, lets his lungs clear.

Seventy-five years, and he has everything he ever thought he could've wanted. Seventy-five years, and he’s _still_ not happy. Seventy-five years and he doesn’t know where he went wrong.

He thinks he sees it when he closes his eyes, but it’s blurry, like his vision nowadays.

He hears a note of music, not from his city but in his mind, a man at a piano with just a hint of a smile on his face, and everything in him goes still. Except his heart. That’s beating so fast he thinks he might faint. 

He looks over his city, and without any thought, reaches over to grab his phone. He punches in the name almost unconsciously, fingers flying over the keyboard. 

_Calling…_

_Calling…_

_Calling…_

“Switzerland! What are you _doing?_ It’s three o’clock in the morning! Did someone die?”

First, Switzerland thinks _yes._ And then, _no._ And then he suppresses a roll of his eyes.

“Don’t kid yourself. I know you’re awake anyway.” Austria has always been a perfectionist, and Switzerland hates when things are left unfinished.

“Well- yes. But why are _you_ awake at a time such as this?”

Switzerland grips the windowsill tightly, and asks himself that question.

“Work.”

“And would you care to explain why you are calling me at such an hour?”

Switzerland paused.

And for the first time in maybe seventy-five years, smiles.

“I wanted to.”

He ignores Austria’s sputtering, waits for it to subside. He’ll bring up something else after that, and after that who knows what’ll happen.

But weirdly enough, he’s got this feeling- bubbling in his chest, manically so, light and dizzying even though it’s three o’clock on a Tuesday and he should b asleep but he’s not, he’s thinking of sun, sun and music, and gold and _Austria._

It takes him a second to realize, _oh, he’s happy,_ listening to Austria’ voice ring through the phone line.

He smiles.

That’s a change.


End file.
